Back From Amsterdam!

Well, I got back on Sunday night, and I have to say I wish I'd stayed longer! The hotel was great, and at 75% discount thanks to my sister, and the sights were brilliant! I especially liked the Canal Bus which would slowly guide you to those spots of most relevance, such as Anne Franks House, the Reiks Museum, and most importantly the flea markets! At night we travelled through the Red Light District, as every visitor must, and had a good laugh watching the prostitutes dancing in the windows. We'll have to go back there again one day, as there were a few places we just didn't have the time to visit! Pictures coming soon...

Avenue Q - Filth With Puppets!

Almost forgot - I went to see Avenue Q last friday with Tracey and Saf! This show is just the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. The performers were brilliant, and it's amazing how they manage to swap puppets without you noticing. Some of the great songs included "It Sucks To Be Me", "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist" and "The Internet Is For Porn". Featuring characters like Princeton (who wants a purpose), Kate Monster (who wants a boyfriend), and Lucy The Slut (who wants to make you feel good), this has the markings of a timeless classic - I look forward to the movie adaptation!

Trekkie Monster

Kate Monster

Rod & Nicky

So, if you've got the time and the money, go and see it! It's fantastic!

Happy Birthday Jo!

On Saturday a bunch of us went to Vauxhall to celebrate Jo's 27th birthday, which is today! We went roller skating, which was terrifying cos I haven't skated since I was about 10, and that was only on carpet! Anyway, a fun time was had by all, and I didn't fall over once! Hooray!

Off To Amsterdam!

Wow, it's been almost a month since I bothered with this thing. Oh well! Good news, I'm off to Amsterdam next friday with my lovely lady Tracey - should hopefully be a fun filled weekend of sightseeing and not being at work! Hooray! I'll post any photos when I get back...

My Lovely Nephews!

I went to visit my sister in Loughborough over the weekend and met my new nephew for the first time - he's lovely! Here's Freddie and Alexander looking cute!



Aw, bless! Alexander's getting big, he's only two and a half! And Freddie's only three months the fat little thing!

The Gang's All Here...

...Well, five of us anyway! Not the most successful school reunion, but good fun catching up with the likes of Naweed, David and Adam. Maybe for the next reunion we can even get Paul along - but alas he failed to turn up. Not sure why though, must ask Saf!

Come Fifth, Win A Bag Of Peanuts...

I wish! Last night saw just me and Ben attempting to win the weekly pub quiz - a measly £50 was up for grabs, but could we win it? Could we bollocks! We came fifth out of 9 (slap bang in the middle, rhymes with average) and didn't EVEN win a bag of peanuts. And after all those bags of Burt's crisps I bought too. What a swizz! Well, here's hoping next weeks winning team don't get the jackpot cos I probably won't be there, but the week after... that £150 will be mine! Bwah ha ha!

Happy Birthday Whacky!

It was my sister Nicola's birthday on thursday (aka. Whacky!) so to celebrate she brought us all to Jongleurs in Clapham! Great fun, and Saf got to meet his hero, Justin Lee Collins! Perhaps he can take over from Alan Carr as the camp sidekick on The Friday Night Project?

Paris Hilton In Jail : The Music Video

Very funny! This is actually a lot better than any of Paris Hilton's actual attempts at music!

Ed's Movie Review has moved!

This can now be found at the following address:-

http://eds-21st-century-movie-review.blogspot.com/

Or follow the link at the side of this page!

A Late Congrats To Vicki!

On Tuesday a group of us went to see young Vicki O'Regan performing at a comedy night in Camden. What can I say... fan-tastic! I see a bright future for Vicki if she keeps it up! Well done!



Incidentally, that's not a picture from the comedy night, but it could be, couldn't it?

Happy Belated Birthday Benjamin!

Benjamin turned 9 yesterday (give or take a decade or two), so in celebration we joined him down the pub on Sunday and had a right good knees up! Here's the birthday boy in his football top:-



And here's the cover of the 1957 Beano Book:-



The similarity is uncanny! Anyway, for more pictures of the happy day, click here!

What Is Going On?

Well, Friday was fun! The only people to turn up for the gig was me. Saf, Tracey and Sahil! Seb claimed he would turn up (again!) but got pissed (again)! He's apologised (for the first time), but that isn't good enough! This Sunday is Ben's birthday celebration, and I expect everyone to turn up! Okay?

Plans For Tonight

Well, Saf has once again rather kindly organised a night out for all of his friends. Unfortunately, as it stands, all of his friends consist of me and Tracey! So people, I'm begging you, even if you already have plans, cancel them and turn up at 93 Feet East tonight from about 8pm and enjoy the music of Dragonette (current highests chart position 93) amongst others. Directions in the link!

Update From Saf...

Well, the bad news is that 11 girls have told Saf to, and I quote, "fuck off and die!" The good news is that two girls have said "Yes please, give me some of that Sarfaraz action!" Of the three girls Saf liked, one of them said yes so, if you think about it, that's a 33% success rate! Way to go Saf!

My Best Friend's Love-Life

No, this isn't a sequel to the slushy Julia Roberts movie of 1997, this is poor little Saf who went speed dating yesterday, all on his lonesome! A brave man, I'd say, but so far the results aren't looking too good. Four responses, four no's. It's not right, Saf is a catch-and-a-half and women don't seem to be able to see it! It makes me sick! Check out his view on the whole sordid affair!

Everybody Is Useless!

Well, I went to see Spider-Man 3 on friday with all of my friends - that's right, Paul! No other bugger turned up! How crap is that? Well, I wasn't too pleased, especially as they're always saying we never organise anything. Well, when we do, they don't turn up! Grr!

We Are The Champions!

At last! We finally won the jackpot at the Pelican pub! Hoorah! This would be team supreme Edward Davies and Natalie Mycielski (the absentee Sarfaraz Hussain joined us late!). And we won by a clear 12 points. Again it was Rod Jane or Freddie and, under Natalie's guidance I grabbed my Rod firmly and hit the jackpot! £50 each isn't bad, and I hope you all join us one week - you too could be a winner!

This Weekend...

Well, having realised that Saf is the only reliable friend I have, I've persuaded him to take the reins of decision and guide the steeds of enjoyment towards an actual night out this weekend! Unfortunately so far only five definites are on board! How crap are you all? I haven't seen most of you for almost a month, and through no fault of my own! You're all RUBBISH!

ps. I hope to see you all in Islington tomorrow night at Club de Fromage!

I Need A New Job!

Firstly, I keep getting into trouble. A client sent in an enquiry for what appeared to me to be a simple padmounted transformer, worth maybe £6-7,000. Low and behold they'd made a typo and it was actually for a generator worth in the region of £200,000! And who gets the blame? Moi! And when Juffers leaves, this place will be torture!

Move over Saf, there's a new man heading to the job centre!

Quiz Night!

Well, there was a massive turnout for the weekly Pelican Pub Quiz - me AND Ben! Wow! We did win, no thanks to everyone who didn't bother showing up, and got a free round with £4 shiny pounds to spare. Not wanting to waste the money, we hastily invested it in another round and drank that too! Hmm. There better be a bigger turnout next week, or heads will roll!

Time To Own Up...

Okay, it's been a month so it's safe to say it's going well; I thought I'd better finally admit that I've started seeing someone... hence the lack of comedy dating stories. Her name's Tracey (sorry, no photographs) and I met her the old fashioned way, thus proving that internet dating is rubbish! She's lovely, and everyone (well, three people really) who've met her say she's nice, so that's good. Fingers crossed I don't mess it up! :D

Dragonette!

Well, the Metro Club is quite a small venue, so we knew we'd get a good view of the stage, but we were right there at the front! Rock n roll!

The support act, Palladium, were actually pretty good. Lots of energy and high octane 80s-feeling tunes, unfortunately brought together in a very public-school looking package, proves to be the longer of the two sets. Stand out tune for my was called High Five (I think)!

Dragonette are like a latter day No Doubt, and lead singer Martina Sorbara was even sporting a mid-nineties Gwen Stefani quiff! Dressed in an Adam Ant style shirt, PVC hot pants and stockings, I instantly became a big fan of Martina... by which of course I mean her music.



With lots of charisma, Martina soon had the audience joining in with the fun, even inviting a member of the audience to dance with her. I shoved Saf forward, but poor old Mr Passive Resistance took over and he bottled out. Coward!

All in all a cracking night, albeit a short one!

Help Support Saf's Crack Habit!

Saf loves the crack! He also loves charity (but he doesn't like to talk about it, mate) so I thought I'd promote the wonderful work that Saf, Cynthia and Niki are doing for Help A London Child. Dig deep people, I would but my shovelling hand is mash up!

Sheena's Kids

I haven't seen Sheena since her wedding in 2003! So, here are the first pictures I've seen of her kiddie-winks, Arushi and Keyuri! Awww!



Check out Keyuri's hair! That's mad hair!

Samuel Jackson Mutha$@%£ing Beer

I've been watching Chappelle's Show all week, and this just cracked me up! Sorry, more Dave Chappelle but I can't help it.

Samuel L. Jackson Beer
Uploaded by thomasjane468

"Yes they deserved to die, and i hope they burn in hell!"

and if you've got 8 minutes to spare...

Chapelle Show - Racial Draft
Uploaded by freship

Silly-Bloggers

Saw this, it's funny. Read it, laugh, etc...



More at K City

Are You Ready For Freddie?

First picture of my brand spanking new Nephew, Freddie!

Peep Show is Back!

Hmm, looks like Saf didn't do as good a job at Channel 4 as he let on. To prove it, here's the final episode of Series 3 of Peep Show, in its entirety, in preperation for tomorrow night's launch of Series 4! Hooray for the internet!



And if you click on it you can watch it full screen through YouTube! Hazah!

And Saf! There's reference to The Apprentice!

Hello Baby!

My sister Sharon finally had her 2nd baby on friday - Frederick George Elliott Arnold. I'm not sure which is funnier; George Elliott or Fred Elliott! Poor kid. Pictures pending...

Kermit Sings Johnny Cash

I saw this on Monkey, thought it was hysterical, yet a bit sad. Have a watch!

Dave Chappelle Does Lil Jon!

I'm sure everyone has seen this before, but it makes me laugh every time!

Chappelle Show - Lil' Jon aeroport
Uploaded by didy93

What? Yeah! Okay! And enjoy!

Good Old Saf!

And old is the operative word! On saturday my bestie mate Saf turned the ripe old age of 28 - so he's officially beaten Kurt Cobain. Thank god I got him John Lewis vouchers instead of the shotgun he asked for. Now there's a cheery thought! There was much merrymaking, drinking and singing, and a good time was had by all! Although, judging from this photo, Saf is desperately trying to pass for far younger than his years...

Saving Private Benjamin

No, Steven Spielberg and Howard Zieff haven't fallen in love, hired Tom Hanks and Goldie Hawn, and collaborated on a shit film. I'm talking about the fact that Ben of Benopause fame has decided to go on hiatus. Without him, who will listen to music and recommend tunes to us (other than Saf?)



I think we should start a petition to force him back onto his blog! We don't care what you write, just get writing... bitch! And stop looking so pissed off!

I Had A Dream...

The other night I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that I was in a zombie movie playing a character who's mother had died in childbirth and he was half-ghost! Then he joined forces with a full ghost to fight zombie! What the $@%* does that mean? Apparently it means this!

Fair enough, work is shit! Hail to the king baby!

Ask A Ninja...

Saw this on Youtube. As a proud subscriber to Ask A Ninja, I was glad to see he's getting the recognition he so rightly deserves...

Baby On The Way...

My sister Sharon is due to drop any day now! I thought it would be nice to put a picture of my future nephew's big brother looking very excited about his forthcoming sibling:-



On the count of three... aaaaaaaww!

Some Sad News...

I emailed the lovely Claire today, and in her reply she told me that she only saw me as a mate. Bad news as it was early days really but I thought she was really nice, so at least we're going to remain friends. Well, after a number of dates this month and only one possible potential, I guess I'm back to square one... time to start emailing those ladies on MSF, I think!

Start Of Date : 18.17...

...end of date : 21.35. Total running time : 198 mins.

That's not too bad going. This was with Rachel, a Welsh teacher (no, she doesn't teach Welsh!) currently the last of my lined-up dates on my list. She was nice enough, though it took a little while to get warmed up and into the swing of chatting, but I had a pleasant enough time. It's doubtful I'll meet up with her again, I don't think we had enough in common or enough of a spark throughout the evening. Oh well!

Idlewild!

Okay, compared to Saf I'm a little slow on the uptake, so I thought I'd better do a review of the gig from friday. It was a last minute thing, organised by the lovely Claire who had two spare tickets for the Palais in Hammersmith. I've never been a fan of Idlewild but I thought I'd give it a go if it meant actually getting a second date! After much coercion, Saf finally agreed to play Goose to my Maverick and he came along (I don't know why we keep doing these Top Gun references - I've never even seen it!).

Not much of the music was that familiar, I think I recognised one of the last songs of the evening which apparently came from a VERY early album. Overall it was a nice relaxing atmosphere, very unlike the Sounds where we were almost killed a number of times!

As for the rest of the weekend, not much really! After failing to pursuade Martin to organise something for Saturday night, I spent most of the day at my mate Jo's watching TV and eating Chinese. Yum!

Sunday was a "quiet night in", and got to watch Pan's Labyrinth which was very good! Recommended!

Probably The Best Sitcom In The World!

At least the most underrated! That's right, Spaced rocks! If you've never seen it before, and have 24 minutes and 4 seconds to spare, below is the very first episode in its entirety to give you a taster of what you missed out on in the years 1999 to 2001. It's from the creators of Shaun Of The Dead and Hot Fuzz, so you can't go wrong!

S1E1 - Beginnings
Uploaded by mrcorbtt

The Sounds!

Imagine my horror as I turn up to a gig apparently fronted by a leggy Swedish lesbian and end up with some bloke’s legs around my neck and his cock and balls in my face!

That’s correct, this was The Sounds in concert at the Carling Academy, and I was especially excited after seeing the cover to one of their albums:-



Cough (boobies) cough! Anyway, after a long wait for them to come on stage, the wait consisting of performances by two LA groups called "Low Vs Diamond" (who’s lead singer bore a striking resemblance to Jonathan Richman) and the crowd-diving "Under The Influence Of Giants" (who’s lead singer bore a striking resemblance to the love child of Mick Jagger and an arsehole, and had the unfortunate aim of the landing in the crowd with his legs wither side of my head!), Maja Ivarsson and her boys finally made their way onto stage. It was at this point that everyone started surging towards the stage – to which Saf and I were standing quite close.



Pretty damn good performance from the little-known five piece. Some rip-roaring tracks, only three of which I vaguely knew, and some high-octane energy from the high-kicking Maja herself. It almost ended in disaster with a badly-timed crowd-dive towards the end – occurring during a seizure-inducing light show – whereby only Maja’s legs were caught in time and her head nearly plummeted towards the ground. She was saved by a female groupie who grabbed her, kissed her, and declared her love for her. You usually have to pay good money for that sort of action…

Anyway, aside from an attempted pick-pocketing it was an excellent night out. And at a measly £8.50, you couldn’t go wrong!

I'm Finally Giving Up...

...No, not on dating, and not on life. I'm finally giving up on trying to start the titles of my blog entries with the word "Start". I kept it up for over three weeks, but now it is time to put away childish things and grow up!

By the way, I liked that Sooty clip of Ben's...

Start Of Date : 18.31...

...end of date : 23.12. Total running time : 281 mins.

Now THAT'S a proper date. Nearly five hours of non-stop banter and fun! This was with Claire off MSF, and she's lovely! We went for drinks, then Chinese, then more drinks! Nice! She's quite tall (my height), very cute (looks a bit like Penny from Teachers) and knows how to hold a conversation (specialities include film and music). I'll definitely be seeing her again (if she wants to, which I think she does!). Good times!

Starter For Ten

Don't forget - Ben is hosting his quiz at the Pelican from 8pm tomorrow night, the 20th March 2007.

Come one come all!

Startling Stuff!

Check out the end credits to Seed Of Chucky - unfortunately badly edited at one point for nudity! All death scenes (bar one) included for your viewing pleasure - all to the tune of a Blondie cover! Great! I especially like when Hannah from S-Club gets "fired".

Start Of Date : 19.31...

...end of date : 20.57. Total running time : 86 mins.

Okay, what's going on in the world? I remember, not too long ago, when dates would last a minimum of 4 hours. Now people seem to have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the gym? What's that all about?

Still, at least Catrin spoke to me for the whole evening, and not to some drunk producers at the next table. She was nice enough, but I don't think this will go anywhere. She seemed quite flustered at the end of the night, but I'll put that down to nerves... I don't think she was too keen anyway.

So, back to MSF - once their website's up and running!

Start Of Date : 20.19...

...end of date : 21.06. Total running time : 47 mins.

To be honest, I've done shits that lasted longer, and were more satisfying! The night started off with Naomi turning up 20 minutes late. One of the first things she said was "I've got to get up for marathon training at 5.30, so I'll have to leave early." Great I thought, as we sat down to have a drink. At this point two slightly tipsy middle-aged men sat down at our table, and Naomi actively engaged them in conversation! At this point I was actually thinking that I should just go home!

One of the drunks turned out to be TV producer Simon Harries, producer of such classics as This Morning and Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (believe me, I had to look THAT one up!). Naomi then became quite interested in telling him that she was a TV presenter / actress, and actually gave him her card! He actually has more information about her than I do!

What a joke! It's no wonder there's so many attractive single women out there if this is how they behave on a date! She sent me the standard, Hi, had a nice time email this morning, but I think I might just ignore it. Oh well, back to MSF, there's two quite interesting sounding women on there that have emailed me, so let's soldier on...

Starting To Spot Less Similarities...

Hmm, I must really look like John Mayer. Who is he?

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

Starting To Spot The Similarities...

Inspired by Ben's blog, I've stolen his idea and put on a lookalike collage! Wow! Apparently I look like both Wonder Woman and Ferris Bueller! How bizarre! Let's try a different picture...

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

Starting To Prepare...

...for tonight. Date number 1 of 2 this week. This is the hopeful one, Naomi the actress; very cute, knows Basil Brush, smuggles drugs, she's got it all! Count on an update tomorrow (I believe Saf would call it a post-mortem).

Starter, Main Course, Dessert... MEAT!

I see Saf's already let you all in on saturdays trip to Rodizio Ricco... well, it was a very odd place indeed. Possibly the only place I've ever been to where the salad cart included deep fried bananas and chips... and no potato salad!

Some of the meat may have looked like something you might expect to see in The League Of Gentlemen, but it was definitely not special stuff! Some of the delicacies available included chicken sausages (?), and for those brave enough amongst us you could get a whole skewer of fat and gristle. Tasty!

Starting To Look Promising...

All systems go for tuesday - I've organised my date with Naomi, here's hoping it goes well. Saf, one for you - she hates Leicester Square! Woo hoo! A woman of good taste, methinks!

And for fans of Monkey Dust and Ivan Dobski, the Meatsafe Murderer:-

Start A Search On Google

I was pleasantly surprised to find that if you type key words from both of my blogs into Google, they both show up top of the list - not too shabby an achievement for something called Ed's Movie Review, which seems to be quite a common name! Yay me!

I suspect this is largely due to the C4i over spill from Saf's blog, so cheers Saf and all your friends!

Starting To Get Tired Of Speeddater

I received an email this morning - that's right, the usual blackmail fodder from the aforementioned dating site. It read:-

"You’re profile is proving popular! So we thought we’d send you a list of the people who’ve checked out your profile in the last 7 days. Why don’t you send them a message or add them to your favourites?"

How convenient! Why not give us some more money so you can write to these women? Sounds like fun... fun to rhyme with rip-off! One of the women claimed to be on an 8 figure salary. 8 figures? That's £10 million! No one earns that sort of money! It's crazy!!

Start Of A Futile Endeavour

Well, Saf and I have both emailed our 'definite yes' ladies. Could be interesting to see what happens over the next few days... my personal belief is that neither one of us will get anywhere with any of them. Still, I've got a date with Naomi next tuesday (assuming she doesn't cancel), so here's hoping something works out for one of us...

FYI, Naomi is a girl I was speaking to on MSF. She's an actress who has starred with high brow celebrities like Sir Basil Brush, so I'm sure we'll have plenty to talk about!

Start Of An Interesting Dilemma

Well, the full results are still not in for Speed Dating. Four ladies have yet to decide. So far the scores are as follows:-

Dates : Me = 3, Saf = 2
Friends : Me = 2, Saf = 2
F*ck off and die : Me = 2, Saf = 3

Pretty good going for our first time out there, but here's the dilemma... me and Saf have got two girls that want to date both of us! Now either we didn't make it clear enough that we were friends and that dating both of us could cause problems, or some women like to cause rifts! So, it looks like Saf and I will have to "divvy up the goods" so to speak. Either that or take it in turns...

...man, that sounds so wrong...

Start Of A Beautiful Relationship?

Answer : Doubtful!

Last nights Speed Dating was an... experience, but some people just have no idea how to conduct a conversation. Thankfully I got the worst of the bunch out of the way at the start so, though I was a little disheartened at this point, the best was yet to come. Of course, I am using best in the losest sense of the word!

The results have yet to be published, although we do know that the blood-stone girl doesn't want to be friends with either me or Saf, but once we know the final score, we'll let you, our loyal fans, in on the total!

UPDATE!
Final scores not yet in. So far I'm beating Saf by one (yay!), but we've both been picked for dates by the same girl! Also, looking at her profile, she's actually taller than both of us! Good times!

Start Of A New Month

It's the first of March, and that can mean only one thing... that's right! Speed Dating! Me and Saf are off to Leicester Square tonight to meet 20 ladies, at least one of which will hopefully float each of our boats (that's one each, not one between us. The latter would be very wrong). Failing that, my MSF membership runs out next wednesday, so I guess more Speed Dating may be in the cards.

Start Of A New Blog

Well, now that I've got into the swing of things with my movie blog, I thought I'd do a regular blog too! And here it is - Tedwood's Blog in all it's glory! I probably won't update this as much as my other one, but it should still be fun!

Interesting story - I nipped down the road to get Ben some fags from the shop while he was performing his quizmaster duties last night. Whilst I'm queuing up, two lads come in and queue behind me. The larger of the two asks, "Oy mate, can you buy me a Ribena?"
I reply, "Sorry mate, I've only got enough for the cigarettes."
"Don't you have a job?" the bloke asks.
"No," I lie.
"You can work for me!" he persists.
Suspiciously I ask, "What do you do?"
The bloke looks at me dead-pan, and replies, "Crime."

Ah, how much fun it is living in Ladbroke Grove...